Reflection During Quarantine: You’re Not The Work You Do
Reflections in all forms.
“You are not the work you do; you are the person you are.”
Yesterday, I took a leap that I would have never taken even a month ago.
I resigned from my job.
For so much of my academic and working life, I have identified much of my personhood and value with how I perform or what I do for a living.
For the last few years, I’ve worked in administration for one of the largest salons and spas in the nation. As someone who loves beauty and wellness, I thought this was a great place to identify with (the beauty industry is sexy, right?).
To be honest, things in the 9-5 corporate life are rarely glamorous—and the beauty industry is no different. Without diving into details, there were several instances where I felt spiritually opposed to what I chose to identify with every day.
I didn’t realize the effect my corporate job had on my mind, body, and spirit until COVID-19 struck and forced our business to shut down (not surprisingly, salons and spas aren’t “essential businesses,” and surely, they aren’t social-distancing friendly). When our business shut down, I was not granted my request to work remotely. Essentially, I was furloughed.
My reality over the last month has been no job, no income, no title, no corporate structure. Like everyone, my routine and rhythm has completely changed. For example, I don’t rush to the gym before work, nor do I race home to let the dog out and make dinner.
But more importantly, I no longer attach to how things “are supposed to be.” Instead, I allow things to just simply be.
I also rely more on my intuition and inner peace for guidance, especially during times of uncertainty.
During this time, I’ve developed an even greater appreciation for a minute’s time and the practice of slow-living.
I breathe deeper, and my muscles ache less. I feel a literal release of cortisol from my system which allows me to eat and sleep more intuitively.
Yes, things have been challenging in many regards—but also, I've felt an overall shift and elevation in my wellbeing.
But last week, the elevation shifted back to what was before.
Last week, we had a conference call, and the CEO informed the company that we would be back to work—remotely—beginning the following week. Recently, our company received a loan by the Payment Protection Program, which provides small companies with the income to pay their employees who were affected by COVID-19.
Suddenly, I was back to my 9-5.
Yesterday my first day back. It was also my last day back. I made that decision after a long day of calls, spreadsheets, and following direction I could no longer understand or identify with.
From here, I only have a blurred vision of my plan for the long-run. My lack of certainty doesn't scare me though. If anything, quarantine has taught me that nothing is ever certain anyways.
Perhaps I’m alone in these realizations, but I believe that this time—this quarantine—will touch people in a way that will permanently effect their relationship with not only work, but with how they perceive their life and value in this world.
I believe that people will begin to understand more that our value is not outside of us. Rather, it is inside of us. No one, and nothing, can take that away from us.
Plus Minus,
Megan