Reflection: Imperfection & Motherhood
“I believe the choice to become a mother is the choice to become one of the greatest spiritual teachers there is.”
This month, we celebrate Mothers Day, and ironically, I expect to deliver my first baby next month. Needless to say, becoming a mother has been on my mind a lot recently.
Actually, to be honest, motherhood has been on my mind long before I ever became pregnant, or even tried to get pregnant. I’ve long reflected about the type of mother I want to be (or really, the type of person I want to be) for my child. Over the years, I’ve held onto journals with reflections and bullet-points on the lessons I’ve learned and what I can teach my future child.
Perhaps it’s an emotional effect of third trimester, but recently, I’ve thought a lot more about my character weaknesses, and honestly, worry about how they will affect our daughter. Therapists often focus on how our parents have great impact on our development and character—for better and for worse—and I realize that, soon, I will likely be the single greatest influence on my daughter. She will learn from me, and absorb all I do, whether I am conscious of it or not.
So, I can’t lie: this scares me sometimes. Of course, I’m not a perfect human being, and inevitably, our daughter will observe my imperfections from time-to-time.
As much as I want to be perfect for her, I realize and accept that perfection is simply impossible. The best I can do is become more aware of my flaws, take accountability, and show my daughter that, despite the fact that we are all flawed beings, we are also lovable and have so much beauty to share with the world.
With all this on my mind, I recently felt compelled to ask my following on Instagram: what is one positive lesson your mother taught you? and I received the most beautiful answers and later shared them in a blog post.
I was reminded that, although none of our mothers are “perfect” beings, they still had meaningful lessons to share with us. I was reminded once again that there is beauty within all of us.
My goal isn’t to be perfect, but instead, become more and more aware and ultimately, to be the most light and loving human being I can be. To echo what Oprah said, my goal is to be the greatest spiritual teacher I can be.
I imagine that, with that goal in mind, I can’t royally mess up too much.
Right?
xx, Megan