Kennedy’s Birth Story

Kennedy is two weeks old.

WHY I WRITE THIS

While in the hospital, I spoke with a lactation consultant, and during our session, I mentioned that I didn’t have an epidural during labor.

It is so rare that I speak to women that choose to have a natural birth, she said.

To be clear, the term “natural birth” is one I use lightly—because, honestly, I do believe all birth is natural—but I notice this is how Google, my OB, my nurses, my doula, and lactation consultant referred to my birth: as the “natural” method.

That said, I wasn’t aware how rare it is to choose not to have an epidural. When I shared on Instagram, I got several curious DM’s for making this decision. I was also asked to explain how I prepared for an unmedicated birth and the story altogether.

So here I am—sharing my birth story, while it’s still fresh in my mind.

FIRST, why I chose NO epidural

Although my ideal birth was to be unmedicated, I was never “anti-epidural”. I remained open to the possibility that I may require one (many women cannot relax, and therefore cannot dilate properly, without one).

That said, there were several reasons why my preference was to go without an epidural. One, because we’ve given birth since, well, the beginning of mankind — I trusted my body was naturally built for birth, and that I was capable of doing it without medication.

Also, as a feminine being, I trusted my ability to surrender — a feminine energetic quality. I believed I was able to tune into this energy and endure labor and birth, no matter the discomfort. In a way, I felt an not getting an epidural was one way to honor my very nature as a feminine creature — to surrender and trust my body.

Beyond this idea, I also really wanted to feel engaged with the entire process. I didn’t want to numb myself to any of it, no matter the pain. I wanted to use my legs, to transfer between the bathtub and different positions, to feel Kennedy come out of me.

Plus, I think in some ways, I was more afraid of a spinal tap than the process of birth itself. Honestly, my default is to trust natural and holistic measures before manmade alternatives, even outside of birth. Unless intervention is absolutely necessary, I will try to avoid it.

HOW I PREPARED FOR A NATURAL BIRTH

No doubt, giving birth is a physical challenge — but truly, I think it is just as much of a mental challenge. So I prepared both physically and mentally.

From a physical standpoint, I stayed active during my entire pregnancy. I ran, did yoga, and pilates during my first and second trimester. Come third trimester, I walked 3-4 miles daily.

I also ate my normal, nutrient-dense diet, but consumed more animal product than normal (and ice cream, hellooo fatty calcium). I also drank a fair amount of raspberry leaf tea in my third trimester to strengthen my uterus.

From a mental standpoint, I meditated and journaled daily (about my thoughts, reflections, fears, confidence, etc.). I also received acupuncture throughout my first and second trimester.

There were a few books that I loved as well: Deepak Chopra’s Magical Beginning, Enchanted Lives, Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, and Nancy Bardacke’s Mindful Birthing (I found this book especially helpful the weeks leading up to labor).

Also, I Youtubed “natural birth stories” and found them very inspiring. I also connected with a few followers who had positive experiences with natural birth — this was super helpful for me.

My best decision, though, was hiring a doula. I used an online platform to find a doula in the area that was best fit for me. My doula understood my intentions and kept me aligned throughout the entire process, even in the periods where I was screaming and crying I can’t do it anymore! She helped guide me, build my confidence, lead me through various positions, prepared me for the hospital, performed counter pressure techniques on me, etc.

I also drafted a birth plan for the hospital — if you are interested in seeing it, I have shared it here.

Oh also! I practiced a variety of affirmations that I used during labor, such as this is temporary and I am capable of overcoming hard things.

HOW IT ALL HAPPENED

Part One: The Small Contractions

Around 2:30am on June, 27, 2022 (Kennedy’s due date), I started to have small period-like cramps. Although so subtle, the small cramps woke me from a dream. I recognized each cramp would come on every 15 minutes or so, and this consistency led me to believe my pre-labor had began.

I called my doula later that morning to tell her.

Yes, sounds like this is the beginning of labor, she said.

I was surprised, thinking Kennedy would arrive late (as many first-time moms experience), but I knew this was it… what I didn’t know, however, is how long this would last. Would I be in this subtle cramping phase for hours, days, weeks? How quickly would it all ramp up?

My doula told me to call her around 6PM with an update—her guess was that, once the sun went down, my contractions would heighten (apparently there is a correlation between nighttime and an increase in oxytocin, the hormone that progresses labor). I continued to have small, benign cramps all day, and at 6PM, I called my doula to tell her that things were pretty benign.

Then 7PM hit, and things started to intensify.

Part Two: The Larger Contractions

Around 7PM, I noticed that my contractions were closer together, and held more intensity in pain. In between contractions, my body shakes uncontrollably — this is was something that continued throughout my labor. Honestly, I think I exhausted so much energy between my contractions because I was shaking so much.

When the pain increased, I got in our tub, thinking maybe the warm water would relax my quivering body. I got out, realizing it didn't, and about an hour later, I was having to breathe deeply through each contraction. I called my doula and told her things were definitely progressing.

My doula always suggested I labor at home as long as possible. So that is what I did. My doula came over around 10:30PM, at the point where I couldn’t speak or walk during my contractions. My doula helped me moan (literally low-pitch moan) through my contractions, because apparently the audible noise can help manage the pain. I also tried different positions, got in the shower, but eventually felt I needed to go to the hospital.

Michael, my doula, and I headed to the hospital around midnight the morning of June 28, 2022 — almost 24 hours since the beginning of my period-like cramps.

Part Three: Hospital

Around midnight, we checked in at the hospital, and I’m pretty sure I sounded like a roaring animal in the lobby. We made our way to the labor and delivery room and I requested to not have an IV put into my arm (I find them uncomfortable and, again, I wanted to be attached to nothing for mobility purposes). The nurses couldn’t tell how dilated I was upon arrival; the baby’s head was so low and they couldn’t reach the cervix to determine.

With little idea of how far along I was, I got into the tub, hoping the water would help the pain subside. Honestly, I think at this point I was in the “transition” phase — where I the dilation was accelerating to a 10, before the point before pushing. Transition, to me, seemed to be the most painful time (even more so than the “ring of fire” and pushing the baby out).

I got out of the tub and went back to the hospital bed. After a few hours, I started to literally scream: I cannot do this anymore, and, I give up, I need the epidural!

It felt like a marathon that never ended. The contractions felt like like waves of torture that I knew would return with no end in sight. Technically, I was already in labor for over 24 hours at this point, and I had no idea how long it would last. At this point, I was speaking gibberish, and my eyes were literally rolling in the back of my head. I was in pure mental and physical exhaustion.

I’d be remiss to not mention that, while in labor, I was still recovering from a week of COVID (more on this below), zero sleep, and all the shakiness between contractions. Although I was able to practice my breathe-work and dilate properly, my body was still in a fight-or-flight mode that added to the exhaustion.

When I was at 8cm, I decided to get Stadol — it was administered via an IV, and although I still felt all the pain of labor, it allowed my body to relax in between contractions so that I could regain strength (i.e., to relax my fight-or-flight mode).. The Stadol lasted about an hour, to the point in which I hit 10 cm.

PART FOUR: PUSHING

At 5am, my OB verified that I was 10cm, and that I could begin pushing.

At this point, there is no Stadol to relax me, but I felt confident that I could get through the pushing — there was no doubt in my mind anymore, even though I didn’t know how long it would take.

I asked for a mirror so I could see the progress of Kennedy coming out of me — this was fascinating, and it helped me see the progress of what I was working towards.

I also found counter-pressures to be extremely helpful. I asked to pull on something above my head, and my doula happened to bring a rebozo — a long piece of fabric that she tied above me so I could use my arms to pull it down. My OB said she’d never seen this method before, but it worked wonders for me!

After an hour and fifteen minutes of pushing, our Kennedy was born at 6:14am. A few minutes later, I birthed the placenta (no big deal after a baby!), and received stitches for a second degree tear (again, no big deal after a baby!).

COVID-19 at 39 WEEKS PREGNANT

It’s worth noting that, on the day I turned 39 weeks pregnant, I tested positive for COVID-19 (after Michael brought it home from work days prior). I didn’t share this publicly at the time, because it seems to be a very loaded topic, especially when the virus is combined with pregnancy.

Generally speaking, I recovered from COVID pretty quickly—I really only had one bad day (fever, chills, headache). That said, the virus and other less serious symptoms continued to linger up into my labor.

I share this only because I was SO nervous about how the hospital would handle a mom giving birth with COVID. Would they take my baby? Could I do skin-to-skin? Could Michael still be present?

Fortunately, everything went as it would normally. We were passed the five day mark, and generally, the hospital seems a lot more lenient with their COVID policies these days.

Also, I was grateful to give Kennedy some natural immunity/antibodies before her birth. A little gift prior to her arrival.

That said, I was still technically testing positive for the virus when I gave birth (the faint line thing). I was still recovering from a week of both physical and emotional wariness — and still, I was able to do a birth without an epidural.

What I’m trying to say if this: if I can do it, you can do it (if you want to do it!).

OVERALL THOUGHTS

This is the gist of my birth story — I say the gist, because it’s impossible to clearly communicate the intensity from a physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual standpoint.

For example, there was a point when Michael felt nauseous and sick, not due to being “grossed out,” but because he a wave of spiritual illness (as he put it). I could go into detail, but I’ll leave you with that (and no, he never actually threw up).

Overall though, I am so happy and grateful for how everything went.

I am happy with our hospital experience and their willingness to honor my birth plan. I am grateful I hired hired a doula, that she kept me in alignment with my mission, and to have my husband, my warrior, by my side the entire time. My OB is pretty rad too.

If you have any questions or comments, let me know! But please keep them kind.

The end! <3