Being There — Reflection on Momhood

Dear Reader,

Not too long ago, I hosted dinner for a couple of friends. Inevitably, little Kennedy joined us at the end of the table (a reality of motherhood), and she was a bit fussy when my friend said:

“I don’t want to be a mom; I want to be a dad.”

I thought this was funny — though she didn’t say much, I completely understood the weight of of her statement.

Lately, I’ve been deep into Being There, a book that emphasizes the importance of mothers in our society. The author takes a modern-day controversial stance and argues that a mother—on a chemical, hormonal, biological level—cannot be replicated by any other caregiver, including a father.

This isn’t to discredit dads (they are uniquely important in their own makeup), but the author argues that the more present a mother—i.e., the more a mom is physically and emotionally available to her child—the more happy and healthy a child’s development will be.

Okay, so why am I sharing this?

I share this because a lot of what I put on social media, on my blog, on Substack isn’t actually what matters most to me. What matters most to me is my children—the one next to me, and the one inside of me. What matters most to me is that I am as present as possible with them.

You don’t see it, but between my Dorsey jewels and favorite exfoliants and newest handbags, there’s a bigger role I play that changes diapers, bathes spaghetti-covered bodies, sings silly songs, plays with the same toys, and (lately) guards my child as she explores the stairs.

Offline, Mom is my full full-time job and number one commitment. It’s a choice I’ve made, and one that has come with sacrifices to my being as an individual, my growth in the online space, freedom to network, autonomy to travel, to agree to contracts and campaigns and advances that may be “impressive” to the outside world.

At times, I worry I am falling behind, especially when I see fellow creators and friends advancing and exploring certain paths that I choose not to take so that I can be with my daughters.

This isn’t an understatement: literally every action I take comes with a pre-consideration: do I value “that thing” more than being present with my child? Most of the time, the answer is no.

Yes, there is temporary sacrifice in motherhood, but more importantly, it is a privilege. There is so much damn beauty here.

Between the tantrums and messes and lessons and snuggles, being a Mom is the most challenging, demanding, beautiful, and important work I’ll ever do.

With all that said, you are also important to me. This, right here, is my sacred community, where I highlight small beauties that light up my days. This, right here, is where I write at wee hours in the morning or during nap time, when it doesn’t interfere with being a present mom.

This, right here, isn’t Mom — it’s Megan.

Thank you for being part of this community, for giving me space to jive with adults, for supporting the work I share outside of motherhood.

I appreciate you so much.

xx Megan