Reflection: A More “Extra” Lifestyle

Dear Reader,

I write to you at a coffee shop, slouched over awkwardly in attempt to avoid the discomfort of my unborn daughter’s foot in my right rib. She’s large (and clearly, in charge).

Lately, I’ve been fortunate to have great distractions from 38-week discomforts.

Notably, home projects — my favorite being the custom marble sink in our laundry room, which I shared on my Instagram story. I also noted how this feature, along with the fact that I chose a porous precious stone for a mud room, is admittedly a bit “extra” (as you may know, marble is a soft natural stone that stains and etches, and according to some, a bad choice for a messy mud room).

My husband commented, “At some point, you choose whether or not you want to live an extra lifestyle.”

He was partially joking (I think?), but it resonated with me.

In my mind, an “extra” mindset closely resembles an “abundant” mindset. Both words—extra and abundant—seem to follow a prerequisite to let go of self-imposed limitations.

Both require an openness, a fearlessness, an ability to dive full-force into whatever it is that brings you joy, even if it’s regarded as excessive or too much.

As a previous self-proclaimed minimalist (and granted, I think there’s beauty within the “take only what you need” ethos of minimalism), I’ve opened up to allowing more into my life.

To be clear, “allowing more” doesn’t mean to satisfy every impulse, temptation, or craving.

To me, allowing more comes from careful consideration of what matters to *you*, regardless of what others may think, and moving forward in a way that serves your unique life.

To me, allowing more requires an honesty with yourself; to give yourself permission to access your most sincere joys and comforts without negotiating yourself out of it.

To me, allowing more may mean to challenge previous beliefs, eliminate fears, and quiet surrounding noise in order to connect to your true desires.

Have you ever held back from doing something that has been perceived as “too much”? If so, did you hold yourself back based on your own judgment of excessiveness?

Maybe someone else’s idea of excessiveness?

As I get older, I grow more comfortable with the inevitable fact that I’ll always be too much for some, and not enough for others. This acceptance is liberating. I’m more willing to move forward without worry of what others (or even a previous version of myself) might think.

All of this is to say: I’m allowing myself to be more extra these days, even if it’s in fact unnecessary (which, often, it is).

Not just extra with possessions, but extra with my kindness, extra with my generosity, extra as a friend, parent, partner. Extra help at home (yep, I hired a nanny — and a night nurse), extra tips for my waiters, extra steps during my morning walks…

Extra access to more of what brings me joy, even if it’s a marble sink that will likely stain from messes, etch from detergents, and all the things people warned me about.

Here’s to not holding back and pursuing what you love, even if it’s a bit extra.

xx Megan